this too ought to leave you in stitches…

NEW YORK – resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.’ Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing ‘the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.’  After being introduced to the show’s host Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question. The question was: ‘Which of the following is the largest?’ A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon D) Hey, who you calling large? Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not readily know the answer.  ’Hmm, oh boy, that’s a toughie,’ said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.  ’I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.’ Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon.  However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure. ‘Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!’ exclaimed Evans.  ’Darn. I think I better phone a friend.’  Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant. ‘Hi Betsy!  How are you?  This is Kathy! I’m on TV!’ said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call.  ’Ok, I got an important question.  Which of the following is the largest?  B, an elephant, or C, the moon.  15 seconds hun.’  Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.  Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.  ’Betsy, are you sure?’ said Evans.  ’How sure are you? Duh, that can’t be it.’ To everyone’s astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend’s advice.  ’I just don’t know if I can trust Betsy.  She’s not all that bright.  So I think I’d like to ask the audience,’ said Evans. Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, ‘The Moon.’  Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life. ‘Wow, seems like everybody is against what I’m thinking,’ said the too-stupid-to-live Evans.  ’But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut.  So, let’s see.. I’m going to have to go with B, an elephant.  Final answer.’ Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath – and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, ‘The Moon.’ Caution…they walk among us! —————————————————————————- This one is equally unbelievable. (No comments needed!) They Walk Among Us! —————————————————————– Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.  To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home..  You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.  He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.  So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’ The next day someone stole it! They walk amongst us! —————————————————————————– One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted…. ‘Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’ They walk among us! —————————————————————————– While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.  She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime.  She shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff….’ They Walk Among Us! ——————————————————————————— My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.  She drove down in a convertible, but said she ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’. They Walk Among Us! ——————————————————————————– My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.  She keeps it in the car’s trunk. They Walk Among Us! ———————————————————————————- I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an ear ring by a chain.  My friend said, ‘Ouch!  The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!”  I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned… They Walk Among Us ! ——————————————————————————- I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.  The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.  ’Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…  (I work with professionals like this.) They Walk Among Us! ——————————————————————————- While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.  He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.  He thought about it for some time then said ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. They Walk Among Us! And last, but not least: Dumb as a box of Rocks A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY: A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear.  Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease. ‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ she asked, ‘how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?’ ‘Nothing is easier,’ he replied.  ’You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble.  If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.’ ‘What sort of question?’ asked Pelosi. Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.  Which one?” Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you?  I must confess I don’t know much about history.’

just thought i might lift your spirits. holiday laze..

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter. ‘Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.’

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, ‘Esther I’m 85 years old. if I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.’ Esther replied, ‘Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.’ The pilot over heard the couple and said, ‘folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride; if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won’t charge you! but if you say one word, it’s 50 dollars.’

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. the pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. he did his dare devil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, ‘by golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t . I’m impressed!’

Morris replied, ‘well I almost said something when Esther fell out, but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!’

just too true to ignore.

hey guys, thought i’d share something with you. quite witty i must say.

 

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea . It is

raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough

times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception

counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt

to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the

pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to

the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay

his debt to the town’s prostitute that in these hard times, gave her

“services” on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro

note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when

she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter

so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the

rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like

any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt,

and looks to the future with a lot of optimism!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is

doing to save it’s economy today… by printing money and bailing out companies!

And if you think that the world economy is picking up …think again …. If the US is still in so bad shit shape ….

Do u think the rest of the world is really getting better ?

record set straight.

not too long ago, i received this email (and this wasnt the first time i received the same damn email) and it was something like this:

 

“I’m sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey

Show where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if
the statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like’… ‘If I’d known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish
and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people ‘

His answer to Oprah was a simple ‘ YES’ .
Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show..

My suggestion? Don’t buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger.
Let’s give him what he asked for. Let’s not buy his clothes, let’s put
Him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford the
ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes. BOYCOTT.
PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW.

Then send it to the whole community that’s not white people and see the result.
We have to see the result of unity.

Let’s find out if Non-whites really play such a small part in
the world. Stop buying any range of their (Tommy H etc) product, perfume, cosmetics,
clothes, bags, etc.”

 

and i’m thinking… well how can this be? because his fragrance “TrueStar” features Beyonce and what not.. so i do some checkin up and i find pics and even better! a Youtube video of an interview with tommy hilfiger on the OPRAH SHOW. all attached.. knock yourselves out guys!

 

 

and last but not least, the oprah show interview.

there’s some humanity left..

i stumbled upon these pictures not too long ago and thought that those boys were just really sweet. there’s a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel for humanity.

 

A well deserved birthday holiday for thanu, plus a well deserved break for us too…

thanu returns after not having celebrated her birthday with us for almost 3 yrs and we decided that it should be an awesome one so we gave her a vacation holiday in Langkawi!

we spent 4 days and 3 nights there, doing nothing but everything under the sun(literally).

it was the sweetest thing one could experience and by far one of the best holidays i’ve ever had.

beach, sun, sand, sea, booze, bars, fun and man candy. i could not ask for more.

just a peek at what we saw there…

deep throat??? Hmmm.. not what u think.

hey, been down and out since the waterfall escapade. in fact, the chilly water made me even worse. i had just finished a whole round of meds… real strong ones and i wasnt  better. not one bit. so i went to the doctor’s office again for a consult and told her… hey… guess what… i’m not better. so she checks me and what not and goes like… oh no, this is bad. apparently, i contracted “Streptococcal Pharyngitis” its a condition of the throat caused by the ’streptococcus bacteria’ and  a mass was found at the back of my throat. it had grown there and it was housing the bacteria… explains why i was feeling so god damn yeasty all the friggin time. my predicament however was…. how did this bacteria happen to come in contact with me throat? the answer was simple… i had remembered that i had salmon sashimi 2 days before i became terribly ill. explains innit ? i mean.. sashimi is awesome most of the time but i guess the few slices i took this time around were just slightly unhygienic. so to those of you out there… eating raw food is pretty exotic  i know… just make sure its clean. the worse cinrcumstances of this condition i contracted could have been worse. i was lucky. god’s protection was over me. there’s a wikipedia link attached if u wish to delve deeper into the world of strep throat. knock yourself out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streptococcal_pharyngitis

till then, this is me recovered and back in good health.

ciao.

back to back dose of butler

twas a good day in my opinion. i look forward to thursdays these days. no classes and just some alone time with myself and the girls. so today, i had the 3 stooges for class in the morning, then i had the rest of the day to myself. i came home, grabbed a drink, had a bath and went to pimp the new ride in my life… ELLIE. had some nice things all installed into her. then i rushed over to ATC to settle what needs to be taken care of, bumpin into the HItz.fm cruisers on my way out and scoring a free drink. how nice! then i drive over to thanu’s pick her up, and head to one U. we have no friggin idea what to do to kill time so we sit and have a beer and a red wine. ON an EMPTY STOMACH.

then we buy our movie tickets. 2 movies back to back.. Gamer and The Ugly Truth, both in which god’s definition of a perfect man is starring in…. Gerard Butler. not everyone’s typical pretty boy but WHAT A MAN!!!

like the first 2 drinks werent enuff, we head to chilis again for a 2nd round, this time with vidhz n a fren.

1st movie takes place, we’re happy. then we run into 2nd movie. 2nd movie takes place, and we’re happy. then its over. but now we’re hungry. so what to do???

we head over to restaurant OK for what??? what else ??? Guinness PORK la!! and sizzling tauhu and kam heong prawns and kangkung belacan. sedap siut and man was it good…. it really was especially after a whole day of starving.

stuffed and satisfied, we head back home. content. and that my friends is my take on what i call a good day. the end.

<3 new love….

Why am i sharing this post with you?

You’ll find out soon enough… *smile* hehehehehehehehe

Justice MUST Be Served

in the light of the recent happenings… the untimely and tragic death of teo beng hock, i think it is only right that we do some serious thinking here. what do we expect to get out of this country? can we obtain anything to be used for our benefit? are we accounted for? are we really heard? or are we just the government’s mask to the world in what they portray to be democracy? in simple words.. can we or can we simply live… just live.. here?

dear friends, i am compelled to share an email with all of you. something i received not too long ago. i think i’m fulfilling my obligations as what i wud like to call a ‘pro-active- chrisian. i wish to justify further, my actions by quoting from our very own federal constitution:

“Article 10 (1) guarantees the freedom of speech, the right to assemble peacefully and the right to form associations to every Malaysian citizen. However, Parliament may by law impose restrictions on these rights in the interest of the security of the Federation, friendly relations with other countries, public order, morality; and restrictions designed to protect the privileges of Parliament, to provide against contempt of court, defamation, or incitement to any offence.”

So with that my fellow citizens ‘bumi tercinta ini’ i give u the post by Goh Keat Peng:

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I Cannot Remain Neutral About Issues Of Morality

Posted on 17 July 2009 by Goh Keat Peng            

As a Christian, I cannot keep to my seat, or shut my mouth and stay neutral over issues of morality.

So I emerge today from my several months of silence and non-involvement to say that what transpired yesterday is immoral, unacceptable and inconscionable.

Why was a witness being held for questioning for ten hours and only released at 3.45am? What kind of case is it and what is the urgency of the case in question that the witness had to be deprived of sleep and forcibly kept awake till 3.45am? Was the nation deemed to be in grave danger had the witness in question been sent home at a respectable time and asked to report again for questioning the next morning? The nation could endure long years of waiting over so many other much longer pending cases involving so much more public money and have much greater weight in public interest but this particular case could not wait for the next morning when the witness in question would have been fresher and better rested? What kind of interrogation was he subjected to on the fateful night without end? Why was it that a witness had to be isolated from his lawyer and forced to be in the sole company of officers with no other neutral person/s present? Because he was in the sole company of officers who were interrogating him, how would his side of the story be ever told? And how would, why should the officers in question be trusted when they tell the nation what actually transpired during that fateful night the witness lost his life? There were no other witness/es present so how would these officers in question clear their own involvement or clear their own names in this sad story?

Isn’t it true that a medical doctor should carry out the examination of a patient of the opposite sex in the presence of at least one other person? This is a wise procedure so that should any allegation of wrongly conduct be raised against him or her, the doctor would have some neutral testimony to defend him or her.

There have been too many instances of contravention against natural justice in this country involving the agencies and instruments of state. There have been too many victims. The neutrality of these instruments of state is questionable.

I CANNOT REMAIN NEUTRAL ABOUT ISSUES OF MORALITY.

This is not about partisan politics. I expect my friends from both sides of the parliamentary divide to speak up. I expect to hear from all political parties and all who hold public office at all levels to speak up. I want especially to hear from Maximus Ongkili, Bernard Dompok, Lee Hwa Beng, Loh Seng Kok who publicly profess the Christian Faith to speak up.

I expect the churches and the church leadership to speak up including those I know personally such as Hwa Yung, Ng Moon Hing and many others.

Of course all of the above persons should state their own views and even fault my manner of speaking or reasoning. But silence is not an option. Leaders do not have the option of keeping their opinion to themselves. They must lend their voices to voices which have been silenced.

A young life has been lost on the very eve of his wedding. Siblings, parents, colleagues and a fiancée are in inconsolable grief. WHY SO? WHO WILL BE NEXT?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

there’s nothing more that i can say.

Joanna…